23 Funny jump quotes

• It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

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  2 weeks ago

  attractive, attractiveness, bridge, change, comparison, cool, flattering, friend, humor, image, insecurity, jump, less, me, myself, perception, photo, seeing, self, self-image, want

• There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

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  2 months ago

  athlete, athletes, competition, drug, drugs, hell, high, human, humans, humor, jump, Olympics, performance enhancing drug, performance-enhancing, satire, should, sports, take, want, where

• The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

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  2 months ago

  cold, cold water, humor, jump, late, lesson, life, life lesson, metaphor, patience, procrastination, timing, warmer, water

• British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

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  2 months ago

  British, cultural, downstairs, humor, jump, jumping, just, Mary, Mary Poppins, never, open, people, poppins, stereotype, umbrella, whimsical, window

• If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

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  2 months ago

  explain, game, gaming, humor, joke, jump, Mario, men, race, race humor, race joke, sports, super, Super Mario, video, video game, white

• I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

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  2 months ago

  activity, adult, animal, anyone, around, eat, even, fun, fun activity, goat, human, humor, i, independence, jump, me, randomness, rebellion, relief, stress, stress relief, want

• Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

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  2 months ago

  comedy, convenience, cooking, food, humor, jump, recipe, technology, teleportation, thing

• If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

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  2 months ago

  Earth, flat, flat earth, Flat Earther, gravity, humor, joke, jump, people, perspective

• If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

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  2 months ago

  alien, basketball, E.T., ET, found, humor, i, jump, jump shot, shot, sports

• Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

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  2 months ago

  advanced, critique, humor, jump, jump scare, just, lion, MGM, movie, observation, plot, scare, single, think, time

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