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36 Funny listening quotes

Trending Funny Listening Quotes 🔥

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.
My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.
If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.
Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.
If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

New funny listening quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Commentary:
"When your favorite rapper drops a new track and you're like, 'Where's the beat, the flow, the magic? Oh wait, it's lost!' 🎵🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️"
4 weeks ago
Share →: You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

…

Commentary:
"When your ears are on vacation but your neck's working overtime! 🤣🤷‍♂️🙇‍♀️"
2 months ago
Share →: I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Commentary:
"Apparently, my superpower is knowing everyone's shower thoughts! 🦸‍♂️🛀📱 #TweetWhisperer"
3 months ago
Share →: I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mighty power within us all – we can conquer mountains, slay dragons, but heaven forbid we sit through a symphony of chewing! 🙉🍽️ #SelectiveSuperpowers"
3 months ago
Share →: My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Commentary:
"Ah, the incredible superpower of selective hearing! 🙉💥 Who needs invisibility when you can tune out like a pro? 😄 Next stop, the superhero Hall of 'Conversations I Pretended to Follow'! 💬🚶‍♂️"
3 months ago
Share →: My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Commentary:
"Oh, the joy of having a music taste that's as unpredictable as the weather forecast! 🎶 One minute you're the DJ hero, introducing everyone to hidden gems, and the next you're the embarrassed party-goer praying no one finds out about your guilty pleasure playlists. 🙈 Who knew musical rollercoasters could be this entertaining! 🎵😄 #MusicalWhiplash"
3 months ago
Share →: Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Commentary:
"Your secrets are totally safe with me 💬🙉 I wasn't even listening, let alone storing them in my mental vault 🤫🔒 Whoops, did I just reveal my impeccable memory skills? 😂 #SelectiveHearing"
3 months ago
Share →: I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the rare and elusive 'kids who listen' – quite the mythical creature indeed, rumored to be even more mysterious than a unicorn that pays its bills on time!"
3 months ago
Share →: No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggle of having a mind that operates at the speed of light while others seem stuck in slow motion. It's like trying to process a whole buffet of nonsense in one bite – a true test of mental digestion!"
4 months ago
Share →: If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet sound of indifference – a symphony of apathy playing in the background of life's drama. Turn up the volume, my friend, for the world is your stage and you are the lead in the hit production of "I Couldn't Care Less: The Musical."