38 Funny listening quotes

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

  Commentary:
  Trying to stay calm while someone chews next to me is my new extreme sport 🤣🤯🍽️

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: “That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

  Commentary:
  Trying my best to look interested while my brain is on a coffee break. ☕😴📡

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

  Commentary:
  "When your favorite rapper drops a new track and you're like, 'Where's the beat, the flow, the magic? Oh wait, it's lost!' 🎵🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

  …

  Commentary:
  "When your ears are on vacation but your neck's working overtime! 🤣🤷‍♂️🙇‍♀️"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently, my superpower is knowing everyone's shower thoughts! 🦸‍♂️🛀📱 #TweetWhisperer"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the mighty power within us all – we can conquer mountains, slay dragons, but heaven forbid we sit through a symphony of chewing! 🙉🍽️ #SelectiveSuperpowers"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the incredible superpower of selective hearing! 🙉💥 Who needs invisibility when you can tune out like a pro? 😄 Next stop, the superhero Hall of 'Conversations I Pretended to Follow'! 💬🚶‍♂️"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the joy of having a music taste that's as unpredictable as the weather forecast! 🎶 One minute you're the DJ hero, introducing everyone to hidden gems, and the next you're the embarrassed party-goer praying no one finds out about your guilty pleasure playlists. 🙈 Who knew musical rollercoasters could be this entertaining! 🎵😄 #MusicalWhiplash"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

  Commentary:
  "Your secrets are totally safe with me 💬🙉 I wasn't even listening, let alone storing them in my mental vault 🤫🔒 Whoops, did I just reveal my impeccable memory skills? 😂 #SelectiveHearing"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the rare and elusive 'kids who listen' – quite the mythical creature indeed, rumored to be even more mysterious than a unicorn that pays its bills on time!"

For even more funny listening quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny listening quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌