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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Going viral on Facebook:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

234 Funny little quotes

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I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

4 days ago

absolutely, age, comfort, convenience, extra, i, little, maturity, okay, paying, payment, spending, understand, where
Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

4 days ago

challenge, daily, daily life, eat, eating, excitement, hand, humor, i, left, left hand, life, little, need, trying
There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

4 days ago

answer, argue, argument, conversation, grok, hopes, humor, little, man, manipulation, nothing, pathetic, sad, sad man, wants, watching
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

4 days ago

childhood, ever, girl, humor, i, issue, little, pun, skirt, wanted, wordplay
Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

4 days ago

body, change, color, color change, every, eye, eye color, eyes, funny idea, humor, idea, little, rub, rubbing, should, time
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

4 days ago

childhood, ever, girl, humor, i, little, morning, procrastination, tomorrow, want, work
Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

4 days ago

anxiety, biology, bit, body, chemistry, chemistry lab, emotion, feel, feeling, human, lab, little, me, meat, nervous, pretty, reason, simply
Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

4 days ago

assertiveness, communication, fancy, humor, important, little, nonsense, rudeness, sometimes
If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

5 days ago

always, cold, conspiracy, humor, little, lizard, lizard person, office, people, person, working, workplace, workplace humor
That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

5 days ago

after, bill, bills, budgeting, expense, finance, humor, i, jean, jeans, left, leftover, little, money, over, pay, perfect, pocket, size

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Slack this month:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

32 shares on Messenger this month:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Going viral on Messenger:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Trending via Twitch:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Just landed via WeChat:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Just landed via X:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Going bananas on Slack:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Making waves on Reddit:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Trending via Reddit:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Activity Log ✨

234 Funny little quotes

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All funny little quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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