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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Maybe I’m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Making waves on Reddit:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Going bananas on TikTok:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Going bananas on Messenger:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Going viral on Slack:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Trending via X:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Going viral on Instagram:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Just shared via X:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

32 Funny mishap quotes

Funny mishap quotes are here to sprinkle a dash of humor on life’s little slip-ups! 😂 Whether you’re tripping over your own feet or accidentally sending that awkward text to the wrong person, these lighthearted sayings remind us to giggle through the chaos. 🏃‍♂️💬 Embrace the hilarity in the unexpected and find joy in those oops moments. After all, laughter is the best way to turn a stumble into a story! 🤣✨

New funny mishap quotes 👇

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All funny mishap quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

87 shares on Discord this month:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

46 shares on X this month:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

20 shares on Instagram this month:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Trending via YouTube:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Spotted on Slack:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Trending via Facebook:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Making waves on Threads:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Seen just now on Slack:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

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