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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,675

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Shared recently on Telegram:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Just shared via Instagram:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Just shared via Instagram:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Just shared via Slack:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Home » Funny Morning Quotes » Page 3

311 Funny morning quotes

More funny morning quotes 👇

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

0

1 month ago

childhood, ever, girl, humor, i, little, morning, procrastination, tomorrow, want, work
When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

0

1 month ago

day, death, die, early, hope, humor, i, life, morning, motivation, procrastination, reason, work
Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

0

1 month ago

drink, every, feel, feeling, hangover, humor, i, just, morning, realize, self-deprecating, think, wake, wake up
I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

0

1 month ago

6, 6 a.m., a.m., am, early, early riser, energy, exercise, fitness, humor, i, lifestyle, morning, morning run, motivation, people, riser, run, runner, want, whatever
Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

0

1 month ago

alarm, alarm clock, bladder, clock, humor, morning, morning routine, needs, routine, waking, waking up
That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

0

1 month ago

after, early, fatigue, morning, nap, rest, second, sleep, snooze, tiredness, too, waking, waking up, wave
I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

0

1 month ago

afternoon, confused, confusion, daily, daily life, easily, evening, humor, i, life, morning, tiredness
This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

0

1 month ago

bathroom, bathroom mirror, draw, every, finger, finger gun, gun, guns, humor, just, know, mirror, morning, never, practice, quick, quick draw, situation, unexpected, unexpected situation
I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

0

1 month ago

before, bit, day, i, me, mess, mess up, morning, mornings, quiet, romance, slow, want
Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

0

1 month ago

chaos, coffee, good, life, morning, only, sense, thing, where

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

62 shares on Discord this month:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

22 shares on X this month:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Going bananas on Telegram:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Live now on Snapchat:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Just shared via Threads:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Trending via Snapchat:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Live now on Telegram:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Trending via Telegram:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Activity Log ✨

311 Funny morning quotes

More funny morning quotes 👇

All funny morning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨