Funny moved quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

  Commentary:
  "Math and I had a 'complicated' relationship, so now it's just 'subtracting' from my life! 😂➖📚"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal game of hide and seek with your parents! It seems like they were really committed to keeping you on your toes – or should I say, your little feet running to catch up with them wherever they went. At least you had a knack for tracking them down, which is a pretty useful skill for a kid to have! Who needs a map when you've got determined parents?

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

  Commentary:
  "Netflix, are you spying on me or what? 🕵️‍♂️ Not even my mom keeps track of my laundry progress! 🧺 Maybe the real binge-watching challenge is not finishing a series but finishing the laundry… 🤔🧦 #LaundryDayDilemma"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

  Commentary:
  "Maybe the secret to becoming rich lies not in moving your couch, but in moving your money 🛋️💸 Who knew financial success didn't come with free furniture rearrangement tips? 🤔😂 #CouchConfusion"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the sound of marital chewing – reaching across state lines and beyond! 🗣️🍽️ It's like a crunchy, munchy symphony that refuses to fade away. 🎵👂Talk about a love/hate relationship with snacks…and spouses! 💔😂

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

  Commentary:
  "Living with someone who just graduated from Hotel Mama – where the room service is unbeatable and the laundry magically does itself – can make you feel like you've suddenly become a one-person parent club! 🏨🧳🤷‍♀️ #SingleParentStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone took the doctor's advice quite literally! 🍬👩‍⚕️ Moving sugar to a lower shelf counts as reducing sugar intake, right? Sometimes you just gotta take matters into your own hands…or pantry shelves! 😄 #SweetSolutions

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