Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Commentary:
"Listening to people's life stories is like watching a boring movie when you've got the Oscar-worthy version playing in your head 😅🎥 #MyLifeBeLike #StoryTimeShowdown"
5 months ago
Share →: Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Commentary:
"Taking a break from the big picture can be like switching from an IMAX movie to a flipbook! 🎥📚 Sometimes you just need to zoom in and appreciate the little quirks of life. 🧐🔍 Who knew there could be such a thing as 'picture overload'? 🤯🤳 #SmallButMighty"
5 months ago
Share →: Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Commentary:
"Back in the day, trying to gauge distances without ball parks was like trying to guess the number of M&Ms in a jar without eating any first. 🤷‍♂️⚾️ #EstimationFail"
5 months ago
Share →: The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Commentary:
Middle names: the ultimate danger gauge for parents. 🚨 One moment you're "John Michael" and the next you're "John Christopher" – that means you're in BIG trouble! 😂 It's like a secret code that only moms and dads can decipher. 👀 #MiddleNameMysteries
5 months ago
Share →: I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Commentary:
"Imagine the precious seconds saved by The Weeknd every time he skips that extra 'e'! 💸 Maybe we should all start dropping vowels to boost efficiency! 😂 #TimeIsMoney"
5 months ago
Share →: Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Commentary:
🍹 "Mocktails are the ultimate juice detectives – solving the mystery of pricey drinks one fruity concoction at a time! Who knew investigating a beverage could be this refreshing and affordable? Cheers to mocktails for reminding us that sometimes the best things in life are just a squeeze away from being free!" 🕵️‍♂️🍊 #JuicyInvestigations #MocktailMysteries
5 months ago
Share →: If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Commentary:
"If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much. But alas, the circle of battling those pesky ailments never ends! 🔄💊 #HealingWoes"
5 months ago
Share →: Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Commentary:
🌑💡 "When dark mode is life, a sudden burst of brightness feels like a solar eclipse on your retinas! 🕶️😂 Who needs sunglasses when you've got a monitor set to 'night mode' all day, every day? Embrace the darkness, it's where the cool kids are at! 😎🌚"
5 months ago
Share →: Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Commentary:
"Trying to achieve peak mediocrity takes some serious dedication! 🙄💁‍♂️ Who knew blending in could be so demanding? 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Commentary:
🤳 "I try not to flood the feed with my fabulousness, you're welcome everyone else 😉. Gotta give others a fighting chance to shine in the spotlight too, right? 💁‍♂️ #SelflessSelfieGame"