funny negotiation quotes - Wordgag ツ

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Feb 3, 2026

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Jan 31, 2026

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Jan 30, 2026

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Jan 28, 2026

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Jan 22, 2026

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Jan 21, 2026

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Jan 20, 2026

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Jan 20, 2026

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Jan 18, 2026