Funny negotiation quotes

• Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

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  4 weeks ago

  asking, cyber, Cyber Monday, deal, deals, humor, landlord, Monday, negotiation, rent, shopping

• Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

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  2 months ago

  boss, childhood, hard, harder, humor, humor quote, mob, mob boss, negotiation, parenting, stubbornness, tiny, toddlers

• Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

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  2 months ago

  entertainment, every, humor, husband, me, negotiation, relationship, sports, tariffs, threat, threatening, time, TV, watch

• An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

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  2 months ago

  activity, app, building, date, fun, fun activity, left, match, negotiation, no talking, partner, restaurants, right, swipe, talking, where

• 75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

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  2 months ago

  advice, being, client, client expectations, clients, communication, divorce, divorce lawyer, emails, expectations, humor, just, lawyer, legal, legal advice, negotiation, saying

• A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

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  2 months ago

  advice, boss, communication, everyone, humor, i, negotiation, next, pay, pay rise, rise, salary, tell, tip, workplace

• Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

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  2 months ago

  agree, communication, conflict, disagree, every, humor, just, meeting, negotiation, start, workplace

• Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

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  2 months ago

  application, billion, dollars, exaggeration, humor, interview, job, job application, money, negotiation, next, question, salary, stupid, ten

• Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

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  5 months ago

  back, cop, firearm, give, humor, joke, negotiation, nose, police, telling, threat

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