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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2260 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,422

Funny Quotes Topics

15,127

Funny Quotes Images

12,422

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Breaking via Discord:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Making waves on Facebook:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Spotted on Facebook:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Spotted on WeChat:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Just shared via Facebook:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Just landed via Slack:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2260 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,422

Funny Quotes Topics

15,127

Funny Quotes Images

12,422

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Spotted on Discord:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Trending via Pinterest:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Just landed via Discord:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Spotted on Twitch:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Going viral on Twitch:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Trending via X:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

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