47 Funny past quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

  Commentary:
  😂🌅 Oh, the sun of youth, forever setting on our nostalgia trips! 🌟 It's like we've got a permanent case of FOMO for our past selves. But hey, at least we can always watch the sunrise of new memories! ☀️ Embrace the moment, even when you're missing who you were then!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the majestic race to the red light, truly a display of unmatched skill and precision 🚗💨 Hats off to you, speedster! May your acceleration always be as enthusiastic as your parking brake game 💥🏁 #SpecialDriver"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the classic ninja fail! 🕵️‍♂️ Stealth level: beginner 😂 Looks like someone needs to work on their ninja skills. Maybe next time try tip-toeing instead of tap-dancing past your opponent! 💃🚫 #EpicFail

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the timeless curiosity about our coworkers' past hairstyles and fashion choices! 😂 It's like a blast from the past every time you scroll through LinkedIn, isn't it? 💼🔙 #ThrowbackThursdayEveryday"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your Discman was too delicate to handle your need for speed! 🏃‍♂️🎧 Maybe it was just trying to stay 'un-shaken, not stirred' like a true secret agent."

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

  Commentary:
  "Oops, looks like debt collectors will have to hunt down my past selves! 🕵️‍♂️💸 Time travel might be the only solution here! ⏳🚀 Oh well, new year, new debts to ignore! 😆💼 #OutOfSightOutOfMind"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the thrilling saga of traffic strikes again! 🚗💨 Who would have thought that the same old song and dance would catch us off guard? Time to add 'predicting traffic patterns' to our resume! 😅⏰ #SameTrafficDifferentDay"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the past, always trying to slide back into your DMs like an old ex! 📞🚫 Don't give in – that book has been read cover to cover, dear past! 📖😄 Let's stay focused on the NOW and the NEXT chapter! 🚀🔮 #MovingForward"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the sweet temptation of a redo! 🔄 Just strolling by like 'Oh, sorry, I missed you there the first time…and the second time, and the third time…' 😂 Who wouldn't love a chance to make a memorable non-memorable first impression? 🚶‍♂️💨"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

  Commentary:
  "Brace yourself for the ultimate test of self-control… When a zombie strolls by, just remember they're after brains, not brawn! 💀🏃‍♀️🍽️ #ZombieProblems"

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