Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Going bananas on Telegram:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Shared recently on Discord:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Making waves on Instagram:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Spotted on Slack:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Making waves on Slack:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

91 Funny please quotes

Funny please quotes are the delightful gems 💎 that sprinkle humor and charm into our daily lives! From cheeky requests to witty pleas, these quotes have a knack for bringing smiles 😊 and laughter 😂 to any conversation. Whether you’re trying to sweet-talk your way into a favor or just want to brighten someone’s day, these light-hearted snippets are perfect for adding a playful twist to the ordinary. Get ready to giggle and grin with every playful plea! 🎉✨

New funny please quotes 👇

For even more funny please quotes, hit next 👇

All funny please quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

84 shares on Slack this month:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

23 shares on Discord this month:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

98 shares on Slack this month:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Going viral on YouTube:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Shared recently on Discord:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Trending via Reddit:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

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