37 Funny post quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  View →: Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.
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  1 month ago

  View →: I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.
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  1 month ago

  View →: I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.
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  3 months ago

  View →: “I don’t care!”, he posted, again.
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  3 months ago

  View →: If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.
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  3 months ago

  View →: For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.
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  4 months ago

  View →: The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.
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  5 months ago

  View →: A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: “Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

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