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5 months ago
Share →: The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Commentary:
Ah, the spectrum of sizzling sexuality! 😏 From raw and medium to well-done, let's hope it's not overcooked! 🔥 Remember, it's all about finding that perfect balance and sizzle in the bedroom steak of life! 😉🥩 #MediumRarePlease
5 months ago
Share →: Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic circle of life celebration 😏🎉. It's like a sexy inception within a birthday cake 🎂. Remember to blow out more than just candles 🔥💨! Just make sure to give your parents a high-five on their special day too 👏🎈!"
5 months ago
Share →: The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Commentary:
Oh, so that's how you make sure the suspense is real every time 🦈😏 Just imagine the intense buildup followed by a surprising climax! 🎶😆 #SharkWeekInBed
5 months ago
Share →: There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal triangle of relationships: sex, love, and… wait, where's my pizza? 🍕🤷‍♂️ #SingleAndReadyForCarbs"
5 months ago
Share →: Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Commentary:
"Sex without love is like eating a cupcake without icing – still delicious, just missing that extra sweet touch! 😜💕 Who needs love when you've got some good ol' fun, am I right?"
5 months ago
Share →: Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Commentary:
"Sure, sex is cool and all, but have you ever sunk your teeth into a warm, buttery slice of garlic bread? 🤤 Now, that's true satisfaction right there! Who needs romantic shenanigans when you have carbs this delicious to fuel your soul? 🍞😆"
5 months ago
Share →: Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Commentary:
"Sex is great, but have you ever experienced the sheer satisfaction of checking off every single task on your to-do list? 🤓💪 It's a productivity high like no other – who needs romance when you have completed tasks, am I right? 😂 #ProductivityOverPleasure"
5 months ago
Share →: Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Sex is like my hair – sparse and elusive! 🙈 Maybe it's playing hard to get? Or perhaps it's just practicing social distancing? Whatever the reason, at this rate, tomorrow's forecast calls for more Netflix and less… well, hair-raising adventures! 💁‍♂️🚫"
5 months ago
Share →: Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Commentary:
"Sure, sex is cool and all, but have you ever experienced the miraculous healing power of a well-timed fart? 💨🤣 Who needs medicine when you've got nature's own remedy at your disposal! #GasIsTheBestMedicine"
5 months ago
Share →: Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Commentary:
"Food and sex – two irresistible temptations in life! 💋🍔 Just like how even the most unappetizing meal starts to seem appealing when you haven't eaten, sometimes a little deprivation can make everything seem enticing. Bon appétit or bon amour, embrace the cravings in moderation! 😉"