350 Funny should quotes

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  1 week ago

  Share →: Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

  Commentary:
  Trying to explain to my boss why I need a break to strategize my snack heists, but they’re just not nibbling… 🥨🥷⌛

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

  Commentary:
  I'm off to spread some joy with my face, the neighbourhood deserves it! 🌟😎🚶‍♂️

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

  Commentary:
  Wow, my modem just made noises that sent my cat into witness protection 😂📞📟

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: “Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

  Commentary:
  Oh great, now I can add "professional advice giver" to my imaginary resume! 🤔📚😂

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

  Commentary:
  Can't wait for the next architectural trend: spooky rooftop roommates! 🏰👹

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

  Commentary:
  When life plays the tunes of my confused heart, I just wish there was an app to identify if it's a love song or a cry for snacks 🎧❤️🤔🍪

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

  Commentary:
  Fashionably late to the office—because clocks are just a suggestion! ⏰😅✌️

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

  Commentary:
  Ice cream for dinner? Sign me up! Who needs adulting when you can have sprinkles for supper! 🍦😋🎉

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

  Commentary:
  Having a committee meeting up there every day 🤪🧠😂

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

  Commentary:
  I can't wait to see the 100m sprint where athletes teleport to the finish line! 🚀😂

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