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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My love language is being sent money.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Just landed via Telegram:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Reported on Threads:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Home » Funny Sleep Quotes » Page 3

368 Funny sleep quotes

More funny sleep quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Commentary:
I'm convinced cats have an alarm clock labeled "human disturbance" ⏰😹🐾
1 week ago
Share →: I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Commentary:
Dream goal: mastering the art of the purr-fect nap 😺💤 Zero stress, just whisker bliss!
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Commentary:
😴🛌 Bed loyalty is my priority! Can't risk a lumpy relationship 😆🌟
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Commentary:
When your weekend game plan is to become one with the couch 🍕😴🛋️
2 weeks ago
Share →: Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Commentary:
Because pillows never break your heart! 🛏️😴❤️
2 weeks ago
Share →: Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Commentary:
Celebrating the anniversary of my 4 a.m. bedtime with another late-night snack 🍕😴🎉
2 weeks ago
Share →: I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Commentary:
Time to skip straight to the napping championships at 2 p.m. every day! 💤🏅😴
2 weeks ago
Share →: Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Commentary:
Sleep tight, gentlemen! For the rest, may your sleep be as complicated as your love life! 😴🤦‍♂️💤
2 weeks ago
Share →: I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Commentary:
Who knew that white noise isn't code for a country music concert? 😴🎸🚜
2 weeks ago
Share →: I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Commentary:
When Mother Nature becomes a sassy pen pal 😂🌧️📡️

For even more funny sleep quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny sleep quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Shared recently on X:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Trending via Messenger:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Just shared via Facebook:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

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Activity Log ✨

368 Funny sleep quotes

More funny sleep quotes 👇

For even more funny sleep quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny sleep quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

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