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55 Funny sometimes quotes

New funny sometimes quotes 👇

  • Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

    …

    Commentary:
    “Honestly, I’ll fetch the remote if it means getting some ‘Who’s a good girl?’ vibes. 🐶😂💕”

  • Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

    …

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic dilemma: bouquet of roses or rawr-some roar? 🦖🌹”

  • Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

    Commentary:
    “With my track record, I’d need a whole traffic management system 🤯🛑🚗💬”

  • Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

    Commentary:
    “When your curiosity meets its match: ‘Sir Nosey McNoserson, please step away from the boundaries of Businesslandia!’ 🕵️‍♂️🚫🙅‍♀️”

  • Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, fresh air and fresh judgments… the original social media! 📱➡️🙋‍♀️🌳 #OfflineCritiques”

  • Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

    Commentary:
    “When the plot’s at the spa for a ‘de-twist’ session! 😉📖✨”

  • Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

    Commentary:
    “When the brain takes a vacation, but the mouth decides to work overtime! 🤪🗣️ #NoFilter #Oops”

  • Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

    Commentary:
    “Channeling my inner caveman before unleashing the fashionista within! 🦍✂️✨ #RuggedToRunway”

  • Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

    Commentary:
    “BRB, deleting my phone… if you don’t hear from me soon, I’ve found Nirvana! 📵😂🧘‍♀️”

  • Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

    Commentary:
    Looks like your brain’s got that nostalgic retro vibe—still waiting for that Windows 95 update! 🧠💻🤣 Maybe it’s time for a reboot or a little mental software upgrade. Keep those mental files organized or risk a blue screen of confusion! 😂🚀

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