Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot. Posted on4 hours ago4 hours ago
When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut. Posted on8 hours ago
My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?” Posted on9 hours ago
I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store. Posted on17 hours ago
Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls. Posted on19 hours ago19 hours ago
Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness. Posted on22 hours ago
Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”. Posted on23 hours ago
Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod. Posted on23 hours ago
You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks. Posted on1 day ago
Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do. Posted on1 day ago
I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing. Posted on1 day ago
Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter. Posted on2 days ago
Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always. Posted on2 days ago