Commentary:
2020 called; it wants its portal key back, and no thanks, I’m good without the brimstone decor! 🔥😅👹
281 Funny still quotes
Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.
Commentary:
And yet here I am, using the internet to look up how to boil water! 🤔💧😅
Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.
Commentary:
Patiently waiting for aliens to realize they totally ghosted me 🚀👽👗
My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.
Commentary:
I totally relate; my suitcase isn't even unpacked, and I'm already planning my next great escape! 🌴✈️😂
It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.
Commentary:
Why settle for drama-free diamonds when the thrill of human misery adds that extra je ne sais quoi? 😂💎🔍
Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.
Commentary:
"When I'm at full power, I'm basically a superhero in pajamas ready for a nap! 😴🦸♂️"
Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.
Commentary:
Chasing dreams like a pro, but making sure my robot doesn't take over my future job! 🤖💼😂
Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.
Commentary:
Only a man can be this optimistic running on caffeine, chaos, and sheer delusion! 😂☕️#NoSleepNoProblem #EternalOptimist
Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.
Commentary:
Sounds like they're auditioning for a reality TV show! 🎬😂👶💔
They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.
Commentary:
Spent my money like life was short… turns out it’s more like a plot twist! 😂💸🤦♂️