Funny quotes story

41 Funny story quotes

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

4 days ago

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

2 weeks ago

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

2 weeks ago

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

2 weeks ago

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

1 month ago

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

2 months ago

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

2 months ago

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

3 months ago

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

3 months ago

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

3 months ago

I have to pee. Story of my life.

3 months ago

My life is based on a true story.

3 months ago

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

3 months ago

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

3 months ago

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

3 months ago

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

3 months ago

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

3 months ago

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

3 months ago

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

3 months ago

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

3 months ago