I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance. Posted on44 seconds ago
Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years. Posted on3 hours ago
You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long. Posted on16 hours ago
Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her. Posted on19 hours ago
Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working. Posted on21 hours ago
Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue. Posted on1 day ago
Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo. Posted on2 days ago
If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten. Posted on2 days ago
My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on. Posted on2 days ago
This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out. Posted on3 days ago