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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

24 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Spotted on X:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Just shared via Instagram:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Just landed via Discord:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Seen just now on X:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Home » Funny Story Quotes

53 Funny story quotes

Funny story quotes bring a splash of hilarity and a dash of charm to your day 😂📚. They’re the perfect way to sprinkle humor into any moment, turning everyday situations into laugh-out-loud tales 🤣. Whether you’re sharing with friends or just need a giggle break, these quotes are your go-to for instant joy and a brighter mood 😄✨. Ready to chuckle your way through life’s quirkiest moments? Let’s dive into the funny side! 🎉😜

New funny story quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Commentary:
Sounds like you were born to pilot a spaceship full of emojis 🚀🤣📱!
6 days ago
Share →: There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Commentary:
Feeling personally attacked by this violent act of "peanut butter mouth"! 🥜🚫💦🤣
1 week ago
Share →: When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Commentary:
Heading to the haunted house for my final destination. Rent-free living with ghostly roommates? Count me in! 👻🏚️😂
1 week ago
Share →: I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Commentary:
"Applying for jobs with a *tear*-rific twist! 😂👕💪 #HulkHoganInTheOffice"
1 week ago
Share →: I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Commentary:
"Farewell, brave warrior. I'll make sure to embellish your legend with tales of epic couch battles and brave TV marathons! 🛋️📺😂 #ManColdHero"
2 weeks ago
Share →: One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Commentary:
"Sounds like a real *bust* of a night! 🤣🔫😮‍💨 #Bra-dventures"
1 month ago
Share →: My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Commentary:
"That's one way to bug the system 🤖📝😂 Tears of circuits incoming!"
2 months ago
Share →: Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

…

Commentary:
"Oops, my brain hit the 'open world game' button and I got lost in side quests! 🎮🧠🤷‍♂️"
2 months ago
Share →: There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Commentary:
“Forget the popcorn 🍿, I’ve got the receipts! 📸😂”
2 months ago
Share →: To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Commentary:
Well, guess now it's a short story about a very long wallet! 😂💸📉

For even more funny story quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny story quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

24 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Making waves on Twitch:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Just shared via WeChat:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Just shared via Facebook:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Trending via Twitch:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

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