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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Dec 30, 2025

3,898

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Live now on Discord:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Spotted on TikTok:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Just shared via Discord:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Going bananas on Slack:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Shared recently on Discord:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Seen just now on X:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

81 Funny story quotes

Funny story quotes bring a splash of hilarity and a dash of charm to your day 😂📚. They’re the perfect way to sprinkle humor into any moment, turning everyday situations into laugh-out-loud tales 🤣. Whether you’re sharing with friends or just need a giggle break, these quotes are your go-to for instant joy and a brighter mood 😄✨. Ready to chuckle your way through life’s quirkiest moments? Let’s dive into the funny side! 🎉😜

New funny story quotes 👇

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

0

2 weeks ago

Christmas, Christmas story, everyone, favorite, favorite story, humor, hypocrisy, need, red-nosed, Red-Nosed Reindeer, reindeer, Rudolph, sarcasm, selfishness, shit, something, story, treatment, treats
We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

0

2 weeks ago

another, breaking, breaking news, coverage, horrible, humor, interrupt, interruption, news, sarcasm, story
There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

0

2 weeks ago

activity, actually, character, characters, day, friend, friends, humor, meet, should, story, take, work
I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

0

3 weeks ago

bedtime, bedtime story, conversation, humor, i, joke, lie, me, relationship, sex, story, tell
Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

0

4 weeks ago

ask, conversation, forget, humor, joke, journey, long story, narrative, saying, short, short story, start, story, storytelling, take, unexpected
I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

0

2 months ago

adoption, animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, cats, else, everyone, funny observation, humor, i, just, know, moved, number, observation, only, people, pet, pet adoption, pet story, picked, shelter, story, tiny
There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

0

2 months ago

advice, airplane, bored, boredom, conversation, flying, funny advice, interaction, life, next, passenger, person, reason, social, social interaction, story, storytelling, tell, time, travel
Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

0

2 months ago

content, content creation, creation, feel, female, filmmaker, forgot, fun, i, ig, Instagram, Instagram story, media, post, social, social media, story
I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, close, close friend story, coping, coping mechanism, creativity, friend, friends, humor, mechanism, media, pain, social, social media, something, story, turn, tweet
Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

0

2 months ago

activity, add, bored, boredom, creativity, daydreaming, fun, fun activity, guys, head, imagination, just, left, mental, mental activity, story, where

For even more funny story quotes, hit next 👇

All funny story quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

64 shares on Slack this month:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

66 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,626

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Going viral on X:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Just shared via Discord:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Trending via X:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Just shared via X:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

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