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21 Funny therapist quotes

Trending Funny Therapist Quotes 🔥

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.
My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.
Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.
My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.
It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

New funny therapist quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Commentary:
"Who knew speed dating had a sequel? 😂👩‍❤️‍👨🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️ #TherapistsNightmare #StrangersInTherapy"
3 weeks ago
Share →: My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Commentary:
"Revenge? I prefer to call it 'strategic planning for future laughter.' 😂🗡️🎭"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Commentary:
"😂 Just realized my calling might be therapist avoidance instead! 🏃‍♂️💨 #EmotionalEscapeArtist"
1 month ago
Share →: Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Commentary:
"Being the teacher's pet never felt so good… or costs so much! 😂🛋️👩‍⚕️ #TherapyGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Commentary:
"Me, as a therapist: 'OMG, me too!' 🤦‍♂️ Well, at least we're all in this together! 😂 #therapistproblems"
5 months ago
Share →: Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Commentary:
"Twitter: where we overshare our deepest thoughts to strangers, hoping for some virtual therapy sessions 🛋️💬 #TherapyTweeting"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Commentary:
When your therapist knows the cost of their advice is just as eye-watering as the epiphanies themselves 💸💡 #TherapyIsExpensiveButSoIsYourSanity
5 months ago
Share →: “Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Commentary:
"Well, if I'm seeing a therapist, does that count as a relationship status? 🧐 Or should I swipe right on that hallucination instead? 🤔 Maybe I'll just stick to dating guys who are real but may drive me crazy anyway! 🤪💑"
5 months ago
Share →: In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Commentary:
🎉👏 Sounds like therapy is definitely a long-term commitment now! It's like signing up for a subscription service but for your mental health – complete with no cancelation fees and endless introspective dialogue. Here's to many more sessions of self-discovery and personal growth! 🛋️💭
5 months ago
Share →: Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Commentary:
Well, that depends on whether your therapist is trying to give you financial advice instead of emotional support! 💸😂 It might be time to consider a new therapist if they're more interested in cashing in than helping you work through your issues. Just remember, therapy is meant to provide healing, not just cha-ching! 😉