Funny quotes therapist

17 Funny therapist quotes

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

3 months ago

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

3 months ago

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

3 months ago

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

3 months ago

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

3 months ago

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

3 months ago

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my train wreck of a life.

3 months ago

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

3 months ago

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

3 months ago

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

3 months ago

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

3 months ago

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

3 months ago

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

3 months ago

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

3 months ago

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

3 months ago

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

3 months ago

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

3 months ago