43 Funny together quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew Monday was up for sale? 😂 Let's gather our funds and bid adieu to that troublesome day! 💸🔨 #MondayNoMore"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

  Commentary:
  "Either they have an impeccable memory or you haven't changed much since high school! 🚪🧓🏫 #SmallWorld"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a perfect 10 when you can be a deliciously entertaining combination of two 5s sprinkled with cheese and chocolate? 🧀🍫 Aim for cheesy-chocolaty greatness, and watch them melt at your charm! 😉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

  Commentary:
  Looks like Santa's not the only one making a list and checking it twice this Christmas! 🌕🎄🍷 Time to watch out for those festive shenanigans under the magical glow of the full moon! 🌝🎅 Cheers to a merry and memorable holiday season! 🎉🥂

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'jinx of sibling harmony' strikes again! 😂 It's like summoning the chaos gods just by acknowledging the rare moment of peace in the house! 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️ Next time, maybe just silently sip your coffee and pretend you didn't see a thing! ☕🤫"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the perfect recipe for a long-lasting relationship: one part indifference, one part sarcasm, and a sprinkle of existential crisis. 🤷‍♂️💔 Who can resist such a compelling offer? Let's start a sitcom called 'The Apathetic Duo' and see where this complete disinterest takes us! 😂🏠"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

  Commentary:
  "Flies 🪰- nature's tiny villains, always up to no good! 🦟 They think they're so sly with their hand-rubbing tactics, but they can't outsmart a simple open window. 😂 Maybe they're just trying to start a fly uprising? 🤔 Watch out, world, the flies are coming for us!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Somebody needs to get my shit together.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's personal organization skills are taking a vacation 🤷‍♂️ Time to round up those rogue socks and misplaced keys! Let's get this show on the road 💪🧦🔑 #LifeInTheFastLane"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

  Commentary:
  "Watching my little angels master the delicate dance between sibling love and chaos is like witnessing a live sitcom – with a sprinkle of chaos, a dash of giggles, and a whole lot of heartwarming moments! 🎭💕 #SiblingsDaycareAndLaughs"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

  Commentary:
  Stereotypes and mass graves: two things you definitely don't want to be associated with! 🙅‍♂️ Let's treat people as individuals, not as part of a one-size-fits-all package deal. 🚫🏷️ #UniqueAndUnstereotyped

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