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21 Funny train quotes

New funny train quotes 👇

  • Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

    Commentary:
    “Watching a grown man stumble on a train makes me wonder if he’s planning to provide comic relief for the family instead! 🤣🚂 #ProviderOfJokes”

  • When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the sweet aroma of New York hamster train tracks mingling with the refreshing scent of rain 🐹🌧️ Who knew urban transportation could be so gourmet? Just the perfect blend of city funk and pet shop chic!

  • My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like the tracks of your mind took an unexpected detour! 🚂💭 Hold on tight, next stop: Chaos Junction! 😂”

  • My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

    Commentary:
    🚂 All aboard the Murder Mystery Express! 🔍🕵️‍♂️ Who needs regular hobbies when you can live out your Hercule Poirot dreams, right? Just imagine solving crimes in style with a cup of tea in one hand and a magnifying glass in the other. All eyes on you, detective extraordinaire! 🕵️‍♀️🚂

  • The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like someone took ‘traveling light’ a bit too literally! 🚂💼😅 #ForgetfulTraveler #MinimalistGoals”

  • I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

    Commentary:
    “Imagine the chaos and surprise an emotional support octopus could bring – slapping away negativity and snagging some steals like a true partner in crime 🐙💥🛍️ Who needs therapy when you’ve got a mollusk sidekick for all your outlandish shenanigans?”

  • Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the timeless art of blending creepiness with performance art on public transport 🚆⏱️📖 Who needs Netflix when you’ve got live-action psychological thriller unfolding right beside you? Just your daily dose of unexpected entertainment! Just remember, every page turn adds another tick towards literary suspense – or possibly a restraining order! 😂 #PassengerPeekaboo

  • Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

    Commentary:
    “Well, that was a ride as smooth as a square wheel! 🚂😜 Leaving the train like a pro with a parting shot, ‘Thanks for nothing!’ 🙄 Farewell, dear locomotive, until we meet again on the rollercoaster of life! 🎢😄”

  • My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

    Commentary:
    “Oh the irony! 🤣 Training others when you yourself are unsure of what you’re doing sounds like a recipe for office comedy! 🤷‍♂️ Who knows, maybe your boss thinks your incompetence adds a special ‘charm’ to the training sessions! 😄 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt”

  • I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like I’m just the caboose on the train of thought – always late to the party! 🚂😄”

For even more funny train quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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