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21 Funny train quotes

Trending Funny Train Quotes 🔥

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.
Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.
The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.
The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.
The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

New funny train quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Commentary:
"Watching a grown man stumble on a train makes me wonder if he's planning to provide comic relief for the family instead! 🤣🚂 #ProviderOfJokes"
2 months ago
Share →: When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet aroma of New York hamster train tracks mingling with the refreshing scent of rain 🐹🌧️ Who knew urban transportation could be so gourmet? Just the perfect blend of city funk and pet shop chic!
3 months ago
Share →: My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Commentary:
"Looks like the tracks of your mind took an unexpected detour! 🚂💭 Hold on tight, next stop: Chaos Junction! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Commentary:
🚂 All aboard the Murder Mystery Express! 🔍🕵️‍♂️ Who needs regular hobbies when you can live out your Hercule Poirot dreams, right? Just imagine solving crimes in style with a cup of tea in one hand and a magnifying glass in the other. All eyes on you, detective extraordinaire! 🕵️‍♀️🚂
5 months ago
Share →: The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone took 'traveling light' a bit too literally! 🚂💼😅 #ForgetfulTraveler #MinimalistGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Commentary:
"Imagine the chaos and surprise an emotional support octopus could bring – slapping away negativity and snagging some steals like a true partner in crime 🐙💥🛍️ Who needs therapy when you've got a mollusk sidekick for all your outlandish shenanigans?"
5 months ago
Share →: Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless art of blending creepiness with performance art on public transport 🚆⏱️📖 Who needs Netflix when you've got live-action psychological thriller unfolding right beside you? Just your daily dose of unexpected entertainment! Just remember, every page turn adds another tick towards literary suspense – or possibly a restraining order! 😂 #PassengerPeekaboo
5 months ago
Share →: Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Commentary:
"Well, that was a ride as smooth as a square wheel! 🚂😜 Leaving the train like a pro with a parting shot, 'Thanks for nothing!' 🙄 Farewell, dear locomotive, until we meet again on the rollercoaster of life! 🎢😄"
5 months ago
Share →: My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Commentary:
"Oh the irony! 🤣 Training others when you yourself are unsure of what you're doing sounds like a recipe for office comedy! 🤷‍♂️ Who knows, maybe your boss thinks your incompetence adds a special 'charm' to the training sessions! 😄 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Commentary:
"Looks like I'm just the caboose on the train of thought – always late to the party! 🚂😄"