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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1756 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,918

Funny Quotes Topics

14,732

Funny Quotes Images

11,918

2 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Breaking via X:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Making waves on TikTok:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Home » Funny Watch Quotes » Page 2

93 Funny watch quotes

More funny watch quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Commentary:
Ah, the modern-day soap opera: Watching other people have fun while we're at home in our pajamas… living the dream! 🍿🛋️😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate lesson in "how to adult," where you learn survival skills like finding loose change and mastering the art of commercial break time travel! 🤑📺😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Commentary:
Can't decide if I'm more jealous of their shoes or their bank accounts! 💸👠😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: 38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Commentary:
Dad time management: mastering the art of "sit and wait" since the beginning of time ⏱️😂🚗👨‍👧‍👦
2 months ago
Share →: If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Commentary:
"Nothing screams romance like a man with a shovel and a dream! 😂🏖️👷‍♂️ #SandcastleGoals"
2 months ago
Share →: Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Commentary:
"Why bother with thrillers when the news is already a full-length horror comedy? 🎥📰😂 #RealityShow"
2 months ago
Share →: I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Commentary:
"Just doing a quality check! 🕵️‍♂️😂 #SelfLove"
3 months ago
Share →: Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic Netflix paradox—it's like having a gourmet buffet with no pizza in sight! 🍿🎬 Maybe next time, we'll get that missing piece of your perfect binge. Until then, happy scrolling! 😂📱
3 months ago
Share →: If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Commentary:
"Watching witches watch watches was a whimsical whirlwind! 👀🔮⌚️ Which witch wore which watch? It was a wrist-watching mystery only witches could weave! 🧙‍♀️🕰️✨"
4 months ago
Share →: Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Commentary:
🤣 "Watching 'The Godfather' is like playing a game of 'spot the Italian' on steroids! 🇮🇹 Who knew there were so many pasta-loving mobsters in one movie?! 🍝😂"

For even more funny watch quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny watch quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1756 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,918

Funny Quotes Topics

14,732

Funny Quotes Images

11,918

2 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Trending via WeChat:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Spotted on Instagram:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Going viral on TikTok:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Trending via Discord:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

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