79 Funny watch quotes

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  4 months ago

  View →: Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?
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  4 months ago

  View →: Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.
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  4 months ago

  View →: About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.
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  4 months ago

  View →: People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.
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  4 months ago

  View →: If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.
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  4 months ago

  View →: As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).
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  5 months ago

  View →: A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.
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  5 months ago

  View →: The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.
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  5 months ago

  View →: When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.
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  5 months ago

  View →: There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?
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  5 months ago

  View →: If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.
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  5 months ago

  View →: They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

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