35 Funny whenever quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

  Commentary:
  When you hit 50, your bladder gets a promotion: Director of Urgency! 🚽😂

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

  Commentary:
  "Living my best 'mystery novel with a broken spine' life! 📚🔍😆"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

  Commentary:
  "Plot Twist: Every time Prejudice appears, just yell 'I object!' like you're at a wedding! 🎩😂📖"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal dilemma of life – to sandwich or not to sandwich, that is the question! 🥪😂 It's a tough call when you're torn between your love for breakfast sandwiches and anything else that's not a breakfast sandwich. The struggle is real, my friend! #SandwichGoals

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about believing in miracles! 🙏 Who knew some gas station restrooms could use divine intervention before entering? 😂 Better safe than sorry, right? 💫 #PrayBeforeYouPee"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

  Commentary:
  "Surround yourself with chatty friends, and suddenly you're nominated for 'Best Listener' award! 🏆🗣️ #TalkLessListenMore"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

  Commentary:
  "Zoidberg is probably just misunderstood crustacean with a heart of gold…and probably a few shells too! 🦞 Don't be shellfish, show some love for our underappreciated lobster-like friend! 🌊 #ZoidbergDeservesBetter"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

  Commentary:
  "Next time someone questions if your dog is adopted, hit 'em with that 'biologically mine' sass! 🐾 Don't mess with the paw-sonalities in this pack! 🤣 #FurReal #DoggyDNA"

• 

  Jan 27, 2025

  Share →: Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine the power move of casually dropping 'My battery is at 5%' at the start of every call 📱⚡ Nobody would dare keep you on the line for too long! 😂 #PhoneCallGameStrong"

• 

  Jan 27, 2025

  Share →: Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

  Commentary:
  "Imagine being an insect hitching a ride on a car, thinking you've found a cozy spot, only to realize you're on a never-ending road trip! 🦗🚗 Talk about a bug's version of 'moving' troubles! 🤣"

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