Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,071

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Making waves on Threads:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Live now on Messenger:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Just shared via Facebook:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Breaking via Discord:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Just landed via Messenger:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

More funny quotes 👇

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

0

5 months ago

always, food, full, humor, i, name, nickname, pasta, think, wordplay
This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

0

5 months ago

after, cost, cost of living, faith, humor, Jesus, joke, life, life cost, living, paid, payment, religion
Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

0

5 months ago

bend, bending, bending over, humor, invention, men, over, pool, pool table, table, tables, watch
They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

0

5 months ago

album, commentary, conspiracy, Epstein, humor, list, music, phone, phones, send, should, social, social commentary, u2, U2 album
I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

0

5 months ago

chill, ever, everyone, feel, feeling, humor, i, know, me, need, revenge, therapy, why, wronged
Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

0

5 months ago

bed, bullshit, chores, daily, daily life, every, frustration, humor, i, life, morning, routine, single, things
If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

0

5 months ago

again, determination, door, going, humor, just, motivation, open, persistence
I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

0

5 months ago

cheating, chili, concert, day, emotional, emotional pain, ever, feel, found, heartbreak, hot, i, me, music, pain, pepper, red, Red Hot Chili Pepper, relationship, wife
I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

0

5 months ago

attitude, believe, desire, honesty, humor, i, motivation, phrase, truth, want, wanted, willpower
Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

0

5 months ago

apology, here, humor, just, laziness, nap, relationship, single, stay, taking

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

100 shares on Slack this month:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

49 shares on X this month:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Spotted on Threads:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Going viral on WeChat:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Trending via Reddit:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Spotted on Instagram:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Breaking via Messenger:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨