Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,992

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Going viral on TikTok:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Breaking via Messenger:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Spotted on YouTube:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

More funny quotes 👇

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

0

5 months ago

always, food, full, humor, i, name, nickname, pasta, think, wordplay
This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

0

5 months ago

after, cost, cost of living, faith, humor, Jesus, joke, life, life cost, living, paid, payment, religion
Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

0

5 months ago

bend, bending, bending over, humor, invention, men, over, pool, pool table, table, tables, watch
They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

0

5 months ago

album, commentary, conspiracy, Epstein, humor, list, music, phone, phones, send, should, social, social commentary, u2, U2 album
I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

0

5 months ago

chill, ever, everyone, feel, feeling, humor, i, know, me, need, revenge, therapy, why, wronged
Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

0

5 months ago

bed, bullshit, chores, daily, daily life, every, frustration, humor, i, life, morning, routine, single, things
If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

0

5 months ago

again, determination, door, going, humor, just, motivation, open, persistence
I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

0

5 months ago

cheating, chili, concert, day, emotional, emotional pain, ever, feel, found, heartbreak, hot, i, me, music, pain, pepper, red, Red Hot Chili Pepper, relationship, wife
I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

0

5 months ago

attitude, believe, desire, honesty, humor, i, motivation, phrase, truth, want, wanted, willpower
Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

0

5 months ago

apology, here, humor, just, laziness, nap, relationship, single, stay, taking

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

11 shares on Discord this month:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

70 shares on Slack this month:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

53 shares on Slack this month:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Just landed via Twitch:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Trending via Discord:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Shared recently on Slack:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Breaking via Snapchat:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Spotted on TikTok:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨