Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.