Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,035

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Going viral on Facebook:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Just landed via Pinterest:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Shared recently on Discord:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Trending via Discord:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

More funny quotes 👇

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

0

5 months ago

communication, guys, i, just, last, late, late reply, message, night, reply, restaurant, saw, socializing, sorry, still, text, text message
I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

0

5 months ago

addiction, better, cigarette, feel, humor, i, just, sarcasm, saying, smoking, vape, vindication
I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

0

5 months ago

better, cheese, colleague, cultural, cultural difference, difference, equivalent, explaining, explanation, free, free cheese, free lunch, humor, i, idiom, lunch, me, mousetrap, much, only, phrase, thing, told, Ukrainian
I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

0

5 months ago

hate, home, i, job, jobs, me, much, once, people, quitting, vlog, watch, wish, wishing, work
Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

0

5 months ago

birthday, birthday wish, born, buying, celebration, gift, humor, i, myself, nice, personal, personal treat, self-care, shopping, something, today, treat, wish
Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

0

5 months ago

bullshit, confusion, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, idea, joke, just, muscle, muscles, targeted, training, workout
Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

0

5 months ago

courage, fear, humor, mindset, nothing, once, positivity, situation
I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

0

5 months ago

attraction, boyfriend, Funny, hot, humor, i, know, stranger, strangers, want
You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

0

5 months ago

else, humor, know, me, mysterious, mystery, self-reference, ways, work, works
I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

0

5 months ago

active, avoidance, humor, mindset, peace, procrastination, relaxation, self-care, through

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

82 shares on Threads this month:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

51 shares on YouTube this month:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

44 shares on X this month:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Trending via WeChat:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Trending via Telegram:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Going viral on Threads:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Trending via YouTube:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Seen just now on Discord:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Just landed via Messenger:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨