Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,053

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Seen just now on Facebook:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Trending via Pinterest:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Live now on Twitch:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Shared recently on X:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Making waves on Messenger:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Spotted on Messenger:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

More funny quotes 👇

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

0

1 month ago

am, attraction, crush, eyes, flirting, humor, humor quote, i, joke, officer, playful, police, reason, romance, witty
Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

0

1 month ago

accidentally, appetite, bag, cheat, cheat day, chips, craving, day, eaten, ever, family, food, humor, indulgence, laziness, snack
I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

0

1 month ago

actually, even, humor, i, laziness, motivation, procrastinate, procrastination, productivity, self-awareness, things, want
Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

0

1 month ago

enough, everyone, except, good, humor, i, me, mood, morning, morning mood, sarcasm, sleep, tired, wake, wake up
I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

0

1 month ago

breath, detox, digital, digital detox, every, health, i, just, media, mental, mental health, mind, notification, notification overload, overload, peace, peace of mind, privacy, social, social media, someone, time, want
I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

0

1 month ago

connection, connectivity, detox, digital, digital detox, humor, i, internet, online, only, option, technology, turn, WhatsApp, Wi-Fi, wifi, wish
Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

0

1 month ago

article, bias, cognitive, cognitive bias, confirmation, confirmation bias, every, found, humor, i, irony, just, pattern, prophecy, psychology, read, right, self-fulfilling, self-fulfilling prophecy, skepticism, thinking, thinking pattern
Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

0

1 month ago

bias, big, cognitive, cognitive bias, deal, everywhere, guys, humor, humor about bias, i, joke, observation, psychology, recency, recency bias, seeing
I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

0

1 month ago

1986, bad, commitment, day, fashion, feel, Goofy, goofy hat, hat, humor, i, joke, lifelong, lifelong wear, sarcasm, Slash, style, wear
You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

0

1 month ago

age, certain, fitness, health, humor, life, life realization, realization, realize, self-care, stretching

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on TikTok this month:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

93 shares on X this month:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

47 shares on X this month:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Shared recently on Slack:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Going viral on YouTube:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Trending via Threads:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Going viral on Reddit:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Making waves on YouTube:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Making waves on YouTube:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨