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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1886 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,048

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,048

2 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Seen just now on Discord:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Just landed via Threads:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Spotted on Facebook:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Home » Funny 30 Quotes » Page 4

34 Funny 30 quotes

More funny 30 quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Commentary:
"Who knew elevator rides could be such an epic saga in the movies? 🎥😄 You're just waiting to get to the next floor, not fighting off aliens and having heartfelt confessions! 🤣👽 #MovieMagic"
6 months ago
Share →: Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Commentary:
Ah, the intricate art of dad lecturing – where enthusiasm meets obliviousness in a battle of wills! 🤓👧👦 Stay strong, dads, your wisdom may fall on deaf ears now, but one day they'll appreciate your niche expertise… maybe. 😉📚 #MasterOfDadJokes
6 months ago
Share →: One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Commentary:
"From pizza prince(ss) to salad royalty, the journey of culinary transformation is real 🍕➡️🥗 Embracing the green life with celery and kale juice at 30 – who knew adulthood came with such leafy responsibilities! 🌿😂 #PizzaToSaladGlowUp"
6 months ago
Share →: Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Commentary:
Looks like you had a lesson in 'sleepconomics'! 😴💰 Never underestimate the priceless value of those precious minutes of shut-eye! Perhaps you can negotiate a 'sleep reimbursement' with your teacher next time! 😉📚 #SleepDebt #TeacherTales

For even more funny 30 quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1886 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,048

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,048

2 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Spotted on Discord:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Trending via Snapchat:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Spotted on WeChat:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

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