13 Funny American quotes

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  1 week ago

  Share →: Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

  Commentary:
  Only in America do we celebrate Independence Day in Reverse Date Mode 🤔🇺🇸🎆

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  1 week ago

  Share →: American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

  Commentary:
  "Because who needs a foyer when you can trip over shoes and pets as soon as you enter? 🚪🐶👟 #WelcomeChaos"

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

  Commentary:
  "Going from fillings to felonies! 🦷➡️🚔 Who knew the drill could lead to thrill! 😆🤦‍♂️ #MomKnowsBest"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you ribs, make Eve-lution happen! 🍖😂"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: “American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

  Commentary:
  "Waiting for the plot twist where the American Pope is also a crime-fighting detective! 😂📺✝️"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: The new American dream is an alien invasion.

  Commentary:
  Well, in a world full of student loans and avocado toast, why not shake things up with a little extraterrestrial excitement? 👽🌌 Who needs picket fences and white picket fences when you can have laser beams and intergalactic adventures? Beam me up to that American dream any day! 🚀🇺🇸 #ItCameFromOuterSpace

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  6 months ago

  Share →: My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

  Commentary:
  Well, it seems like you're really embracing that modern tribal vibe! 💨🚬 Let's just hope your spirit animal isn't a chain-smoking chimney! 😉 #NewAgeNative #SmokeSignalsAndTexts

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I’ve named my couch American Idle.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your couch is living the dream of every couch potato out there! 🥔💤 Who needs American Idol when you've got American Idle right in your living room? 😄🛋️"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

  Commentary:
  American Feng Shui: when the key to achieving perfect balance and harmony is making sure that barbecue grill is as steady as the American dream 💁‍♂️🍔🌭 #GrillGoals

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  6 months ago

  Share →: My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old metric of educational success: nuggets per order! 🍗🎓 Perhaps we should start grading schools based on their crispy chicken output. Who needs standardized testing when you've got a box of nuggets to gauge academic excellence? 😂 #NuggetWisdom"

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