I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you. Posted on2 days ago2 days ago
Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012. Posted on2 days ago2 days ago
I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows. Posted on2 days ago2 days ago
Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm. Posted on6 days ago
Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks. Posted on7 days ago
Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time. Posted on1 week ago
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read. Posted on1 week ago
My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers. Posted on2 weeks ago
Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.” Posted on2 weeks ago
Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G. Posted on2 weeks ago
Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand. Posted on2 weeks ago
I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me. Posted on2 weeks ago
I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food. Posted on2 weeks ago
Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute. Posted on2 weeks ago
My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers. Posted on2 weeks ago
I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control. Posted on2 weeks ago
Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave. Posted on2 weeks ago
If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked. Posted on2 weeks ago
I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing! Posted on2 weeks ago