23 Funny bottle quotes

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew lotion could double as a Deborah repellant? 😅🧴 #SmoothMoves #KeepingThePeace"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Worcestershire sauce: the secret ingredient to turning my fridge into a tongue twister! 🌀😂🥫"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

  Commentary:
  "College: where the ultimate survival kit is a charged laptop and a hydrated student! 💻💦 #WaterBottleWarriors"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a message in a bottle when you can have a bottle with a message 🍹📜? Tequila has a way of making sure that message gets through loud and clear! Cheers to a truly effective communication strategy! 🎉😄 #TequilaTalks"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like his wife sees the glass half empty… or in this case, the bottle half empty! 🍷😂 Maybe he should try a 'glass half full' approach next time!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the good ol' days when we had to navigate through the treacherous world of elementary school without our trusty hydration, communication, or snack devices 📵🍎 The real survival of the fittest! Just shows that we truly are the resilient generation 💪🏼📚 #ThrowbackThursday #Survivors

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

  Commentary:
  "Who says you need a reason to celebrate? 🍷 Make Wednesday feel like the weekend with a cold bottle of wine ready to go! Cheers to turning hump day into cheers day! 🎉 #WineWednesday"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

  Commentary:
  "Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. I said '30 minutes' and realized that wasn't the right answer… unless they mean how long it takes me to pick one out! 🍷⏳😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to get just a 'little' ketchup out of the bottle is like trying to control a rocket launch 🚀. Blink and you'll have a French fry flood on your hands! 😂 #ketchupchaos"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like the concept of 'wine budget' was lost in translation for this person 🍷⏳ Next time, maybe they’ll stick to the 'price tag' rather than 'time spent' approach 😄⏳ #TimeIsNotMoney"

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