Funny quotes bottle

19 Funny bottle quotes

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

1 month ago

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

3 months ago

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

3 months ago

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

3 months ago

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

3 months ago

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

3 months ago

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

3 months ago

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

3 months ago

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

3 months ago

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

3 months ago

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

3 months ago

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

3 months ago

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

3 months ago

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

3 months ago

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

3 months ago

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

3 months ago

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

3 months ago

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

3 months ago

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

3 months ago