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23 Funny bottle quotes

Trending Funny Bottle Quotes 🔥

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.
College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.
So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?
It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.
To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

New funny bottle quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Commentary:
"Who knew lotion could double as a Deborah repellant? 😅🧴 #SmoothMoves #KeepingThePeace"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

…

Commentary:
"Worcestershire sauce: the secret ingredient to turning my fridge into a tongue twister! 🌀😂🥫"
1 month ago
Share →: College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Commentary:
"College: where the ultimate survival kit is a charged laptop and a hydrated student! 💻💦 #WaterBottleWarriors"
2 months ago
Share →: You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Commentary:
"Who needs a message in a bottle when you can have a bottle with a message 🍹📜? Tequila has a way of making sure that message gets through loud and clear! Cheers to a truly effective communication strategy! 🎉😄 #TequilaTalks"
3 months ago
Share →: My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Commentary:
"Looks like his wife sees the glass half empty… or in this case, the bottle half empty! 🍷😂 Maybe he should try a 'glass half full' approach next time!"
5 months ago
Share →: Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when we had to navigate through the treacherous world of elementary school without our trusty hydration, communication, or snack devices 📵🍎 The real survival of the fittest! Just shows that we truly are the resilient generation 💪🏼📚 #ThrowbackThursday #Survivors
5 months ago
Share →: Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Commentary:
"Who says you need a reason to celebrate? 🍷 Make Wednesday feel like the weekend with a cold bottle of wine ready to go! Cheers to turning hump day into cheers day! 🎉 #WineWednesday"
5 months ago
Share →: Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Commentary:
"Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. I said '30 minutes' and realized that wasn't the right answer… unless they mean how long it takes me to pick one out! 🍷⏳😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Commentary:
"Trying to get just a 'little' ketchup out of the bottle is like trying to control a rocket launch 🚀. Blink and you'll have a French fry flood on your hands! 😂 #ketchupchaos"
5 months ago
Share →: Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Commentary:
"Seems like the concept of 'wine budget' was lost in translation for this person 🍷⏳ Next time, maybe they’ll stick to the 'price tag' rather than 'time spent' approach 😄⏳ #TimeIsNotMoney"