34 funny cars quotes - Wordgag ツ

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Feb 3, 2026

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Feb 3, 2026

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Feb 2, 2026

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Feb 2, 2026

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Feb 1, 2026

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Jan 31, 2026

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Jan 31, 2026

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Jan 31, 2026

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Jan 31, 2026

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Jan 30, 2026

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Jan 29, 2026

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Jan 28, 2026

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Jan 28, 2026

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Jan 23, 2026

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Jan 23, 2026

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Jan 23, 2026

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Jan 23, 2026

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Jan 23, 2026

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Jan 22, 2026

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Jan 22, 2026

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Jan 22, 2026

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Jan 22, 2026

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Jan 22, 2026

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Jan 21, 2026

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Jan 21, 2026

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Jan 21, 2026

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Jan 21, 2026

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Jan 21, 2026

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Jan 20, 2026

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Jan 20, 2026

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Jan 20, 2026

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Jan 20, 2026

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Jan 19, 2026

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Jan 18, 2026