Funny quotes clean

34 Funny clean quotes

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Funny Quotes Mar 21, 2025

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Funny Quotes Feb 28, 2025

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Funny Quotes Feb 22, 2025

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025