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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Life is like a game of chess. I don’t enjoy it very much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,506

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Spotted on Discord:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Making waves on Telegram:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Spotted on Telegram:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Spotted on Instagram:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Going bananas on Facebook:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

18 Funny drinks quotes

Funny drinks quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor 🍹 and a twist of wit 🍸 to any gathering or social scroll 📱. Whether you’re toasting with friends or just sipping solo, these clever sayings bring laughter 😂 and good vibes 🥳 to every sip. Get ready to raise your glass 🥂 and chuckle your way through happy hour!

New funny drinks quotes 👇

For even more funny drinks quotes, hit next 👇

All funny drinks quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on YouTube this month:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

96 shares on Discord this month:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

54 shares on Facebook this month:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,463

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Making waves on Reddit:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Trending via TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Breaking via X:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Just landed via WeChat:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

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