Funny evil quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

  Commentary:
  “Feeling cute, might plot world domination later #EvilEra”

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  2 months ago

  Share →: What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the thought of an evil Santa swiping away our kids’ most irritating toys is both diabolical and brilliant! Finally, a holiday hero we can truly get behind! Goodbye, noisy toys and batteries that never last – we’re counting on you, Evil Santa! #ParentingDreams

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

  Commentary:
  “Alcohol must have missed the memo on ‘evil plans’ and just decided to throw a giggle party instead! Who knew being slutty was the real happy hour special? Cheers to keeping it saucy, not sinister! ”

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the architect was having a “parking day” when designing these garages! #GeniusOrSadist

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

  Commentary:
  “Imagine the chaos if evil geniuses decided to join forces with evil idiots – we’d be in for a wild, nonsensical ride! Let’s hope common sense prevails over the reign of foolishness! ”

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

  Commentary:
  Well, when you put it that way, it sounds like we might be stuck between a rock and a hard place! It’s like choosing between a lukewarm tea and a slightly spoiled milkshake – neither is winning any awards for being enticing, that’s for sure! Always remember, when faced with the lesser of two evils, maybe it’s time to start thinking outside the box and look for the greater good!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

  Commentary:
  Well, they say hindsight is 20/20, but apparently, engineers behind evil robots have 20 red LEDs instead! Always a good reminder to choose your lighting fixtures wisely, especially when plotting world domination.

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

  Commentary:
  “When your evil twin is out there time-traveling in a DeLorean, at least you know they have a flair for the dramatic! Just make sure they don’t mess up the space-time continuum too much! ”

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

  Commentary:
  “Well, if looks could kill, your dog would be a certified assassin! Who knew the evil eye from a furry friend could be more intimidating than any threat out there? Watch out, that couch belongs to the real master! ”

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

  Commentary:
  “Ah, the age-old wisdom of never judging a book by its cover…unless we’re talking about people, then it’s apparently a free-for-all based on their faces! Looks like someone missed the memo that ‘stupid faces’ don’t always equal evil intentions! ”

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