57 Funny excuse quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

  Commentary:
  Looks like sometimes it's better to have the option to decline rather than face the FOMO! 🙈 Who needs party invites when you've got Netflix and pajamas, am I right? 😂 #IntrovertLife

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

  Commentary:
  "Apologies for my tardiness, but someone had to bravely battle for the noble cause of partying! 💪🎉 Better late than never, right? 😄 #PartyWarrior"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry I’m late, blame it on the washing machine's sneaky time management skills! 🕒🧺 Maybe next time I should double-check if it’s on ‘spin cycle’ or ‘time warp’ mode! ⏳😆"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

  Commentary:
  "Apologies for my tardiness, but when Beyoncé starts playing in the produce aisle, punctuality goes out the window! 🛒🎶 #GroceryStoreJamSession"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

  Commentary:
  "Today's agenda: professional bed-rotter and potential squanderer. 💤🛌 Don't mind me, just reaching maximum entropy levels here. 😅 #ProcrastinationGameStrong"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry for my delayed arrival, folks! Got ambushed by a rogue gang of bubble wrap that needed popping 🙈💥 Who can resist that satisfying *pop* sound, am I right? #BubbleWrapWars"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine the power move of casually dropping 'My battery is at 5%' at the start of every call 📱⚡ Nobody would dare keep you on the line for too long! 😂 #PhoneCallGameStrong"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

  Commentary:
  "Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis? 🤔 Maybe sprinkle some self-doubt and a side of philosophical pondering on top? 🤣 Don't let it go to waste, make sure to savor every anxious thought!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the tyranny of breakfast rules! Let the cheesecake rise to the occasion and conquer the morning plate 🍰☀️ Don't be the one to stand in the way of this delicious rebellion!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about jumping the gun! 🤦‍♂️ Maybe your calendar predicted the future date? Or you’ve mastered the art of time travel? ⏳ Either way, oopsie! 😅 #TooEager"

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