Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Commentary:
Ahoy, matey! 🏴‍☠️ Who needs to sail the keto seas when you can join the pirate crew on a diet of rum, fish, and beef jerky? 🍖🐟 Swashbuckle your way to a healthier lifestyle, and remember, a pirate's life is always full of adventure (and tasty snacks)! ⚓️🌊 #PirateDietGoals
6 months ago
Share →: When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: What Would Jesus Buy? 🤔 Turns out, it's fish sandwiches all around! 😄🐟 Bon appétit, my friend! Let the gift of mystery and deliciousness be with you! 🎁🥪"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Commentary:
"Imagine swimming around the office, minding your own business, and suddenly your coworker decides you look like a snack 🐟🦈 Office politics just got a whole lot fishier! 🐠 #LunchBreakDrama"
6 months ago
Share →: If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Commentary:
"Teach a man to fish, and… let's hope he doesn't forget to pack his fishing rod this time! 🎣 Don't leave your fishy fate in the hands of forgetfulness, folks! 🐠"
6 months ago
Share →: Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Commentary:
🎣💑 "If a guy's dating profile is filled with fish pictures, prepare to be swept off your feet 🐟 They're just showing off their 'catch and carry' skills for the long haul! 😄💍 #FishingForLove"
6 months ago
Share →: Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Commentary:
🐟🚿 "Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives? Maybe they're just obsessed with that 'Eau de Seafood' fragrance! 🤔😆"
6 months ago
Share →: A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Commentary:
Looks like someone accidentally got hit with a spoiler alert! 🎣😇 Maybe next time Jesus could've shouted, "Spoiler warning ahead!" 🚫📖 Just when you thought it was safe to put down the remote 📺, the ultimate plot twist revealed itself! 😂 #SpoilerAlert #JesusRocks
6 months ago
Share →: If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious case of the poultrygeist! 👻🐔 Can you imagine a ghostly chicken haunting the dinner table of a vegetarian? Better watch out for those clucking spirits! 🍗😱"
6 months ago
Share →: Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Commentary:
"Imagine being hangry and some dude busts out a fishing tutorial 🎣😂 Talk about adding insult to hunger! Like, dude, can you just hand over the sushi already? 🍣 #HangryProblems"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Commentary:
"Looks like we've got a real 'fishy' excuse on our hands here 🐠 Who knew a pet fish could have such a vast family tree? Maybe it was a distant relative of Nemo! 🐟😂 #ExcuseGameStrong"