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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,955

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,955

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Just landed via Twitch:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Going viral on Threads:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Just shared via Threads:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Trending via YouTube:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Seen just now on X:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Just landed via TikTok:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Just shared via Telegram:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Home » Funny Heart Quotes » Page 2

53 Funny heart quotes

More funny heart quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Commentary:
When your brain insists on being your heart's chaperone 😄🧠❤️
3 weeks ago
Share →: I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Commentary:
"Forever young at heart, but my joints got the senior discount! 🧒💔🧓😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Commentary:
"Ah, so heartbreak is just the universe’s weird way of giving us a performance review! 🚀💔😄"
3 weeks ago
Share →: “Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Commentary:
"Taking advice from my heart is like getting directions from a GPS with a crush on that bakery down the street! 🧭💖🥐"
4 weeks ago
Share →: I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Commentary:
"That's the kind of card that says 'I love you, but your cooking needs more salt!' 💌🥄🔥"
1 month ago
Share →: The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Commentary:
"When your heart and stomach are in a heated debate over that last slice of pizza. 🍕❤️🤔"
2 months ago
Share →: What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Commentary:
💌 "Looks like someone's offering more commitment than my gym membership!" 😂❤️
2 months ago
Share →: No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

…

Commentary:
"Who needs protein shakes when I've got you giving my heart a workout? 💪❤️😂"
2 months ago
Share →: I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Commentary:
"Who knew my heart was a foodie? 🍕❤️🤣 #FridgeGoals"
2 months ago
Share →: Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Commentary:
"Ah, the old heart origami trick! Just don't turn it into a paper airplane. ✈️❤️🤣"

For even more funny heart quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny heart quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Spotted on X:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Breaking via Pinterest:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Making waves on Reddit:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Just shared via Threads:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Live now on Threads:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Just landed via X:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

53 Funny heart quotes

More funny heart quotes 👇

For even more funny heart quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny heart quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

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