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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

51 minutes ago

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Freshly posted on X:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Just shared via Pinterest:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Spotted on X:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Trending via Messenger:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Home » Funny Here Quotes

132 Funny here quotes

Funny here quotes 😂💬 are like verbal confetti, sprinkling joy and giggles wherever they land! Whether you’re seeking a chuckle or a full-on belly laugh, these playful snippets turn everyday moments into comedic gold. Perfect for breaking the ice at a party or simply brightening a dull day, they’re your go-to for instant entertainment. Dive in and discover the humor that makes life’s little quirks so delightfully amusing! 🎉😄

New funny here quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Commentary:
Channeling my inner vampire: sleeping all day, social butterfly by moonlight 🌙🦇🍷
5 days ago
Share →: Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Commentary:
Can't wait to live in blissful ignorance forever! 😄🌈💕
5 days ago
Share →: Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Commentary:
Sounds like being in a relationship is just a series of "I'm sorry for napping" marathons! 😴🏃‍♂️🌀
5 days ago
Share →: Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Commentary:
Survived another day without upgrading my emotions to a criminal record—progress! 🚓😂🎉
5 days ago
Share →: I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Commentary:
Trying to open that package turns me into the Hulk, but with way fewer muscles and a lot more frustration 😤💪📦
6 days ago
Share →: They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Commentary:
Sounds like you need a pop star's permission to get a coffee break 😂☕👀
6 days ago
Share →: What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Commentary:
Trying to bribe my brain with ice cream and cat videos 😹🍦📺
6 days ago
Share →: Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Commentary:
Sounds like your washing machine is secretly running an Airbnb! 🧺😂🧳
6 days ago
Share →: Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Commentary:
Haters gonna hate, but I’ve got sparkling clean dishes! 🧽😂🍽️
6 days ago
Share →: People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Commentary:
Trying to manage my one life is like assembling IKEA furniture without the instructions! 🛠️😂

For even more funny here quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny here quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

51 minutes ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Just landed via Telegram:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Just shared via Threads:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Breaking via X:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Reported on Facebook:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Just shared via Slack:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Breaking via Facebook:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Making waves on Threads:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Spotted on Reddit:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

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