3569 Funny i quotes

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Forget extraterrestrial life — I'm just over here swatting at imaginary UFOs! 👽🦟😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

  …

  Commentary:
  🎉🧠 "Heads up, everyone! It's like software updates, but for me! Time to hit 'refresh' and wave bye-bye to those old versions! 🚫🗑️🤣"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Me: A walking dictionary, but with Wi-Fi! 😂📚🔍 #WordNinja"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Next up: crying while doing a plank in a crowded gym! 😅🎒😭 #FitnessEmotions"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

  …

  Commentary:
  "Sure, but bring snacks! 🍿📲 #CouchSurfingInTheDMs"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

  …

  Commentary:
  "When your detective career collides with your drama queen side! 🎭🔍 #PlotTwistExpert"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

  …

  Commentary:
  "When it comes to texting, we need to master time travel! ⏰📱🚀 #BackToTheResponse"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Me pretending I have inner peace like 🍃😌🍃 #WorryLevelExpert"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Love the travel stories, but maybe it's time for a return trip! 🚀😄✈️"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Just joined the Witness Protection Program for voices! 🎤🚫😂"

For even more funny i quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny i quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌