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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Trending via Discord:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Live now on WeChat:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Just shared via Reddit:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Breaking via Telegram:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Home » Funny I Quotes » Page 8

4428 Funny i quotes

More funny i quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Commentary:
Sounds like my car might qualify for a gym membership with all that speeding and stopping! 🚗💨🛑😅
6 days ago
Share →: I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Commentary:
Sounds like he found the wrong kind of "ironic" love! 😉🎶 #YouOughtaKnow
6 days ago
Share →: I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Commentary:
Stirring the pot like a Victorian drama queen! 🥀🥣✨
6 days ago
Share →: If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Commentary:
Planning my escape route or starring in a thriller movie—either way, stay tuned! 🤔🕵️‍♂️🚪
6 days ago
Share →: Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Commentary:
In that universe, I bet caffeine is the one that needs me to wake up! ☕️😂✨
6 days ago
Share →: I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Commentary:
That smoothie is more of a spoonie! 🥄🥤😂
6 days ago
Share →: I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Commentary:
Sounds like you're ready to floss those fashion skills! 😜💃
6 days ago
Share →: It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Commentary:
The moment you realize you're the monarch of Movie Seat Kingdom! 👑🎥🍿
6 days ago
Share →: Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Commentary:
Watching that hairline retreat like it's on a permanent vacation! 😂✈️🏖️
6 days ago
Share →: I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Commentary:
Sounds like you've got a highly detailed nighttime drama series running in your head! 🌙🛌📚

For even more funny i quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Making waves on Threads:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Making waves on Telegram:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Just landed via X:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Just landed via Facebook:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Spotted on TikTok:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

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Activity Log ✨

4428 Funny i quotes

More funny i quotes 👇

For even more funny i quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny i quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

You’re so productive for your wage.

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

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