1409 Funny life quotes

• In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

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  3 weeks ago

  20s, 40s, aging, forever, humor, life, live, oh, optimism, reality, uh

• I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

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  3 weeks ago

  always, before, cruelty, good, humanity, i, ignorance, internet, know, life, life before internet, memory, nostalgia, remember, stupid, stupidity, time

• I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

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  3 weeks ago

  age, happy, happy hour, hour, humor, life, life stage, nap, relaxation, stage, where

• Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

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  3 weeks ago

  cut, finger, harmless, humor, injury, job, life, never, office, office job, office life, paper, paper cut, workplace, workplace humor

• Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

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  3 weeks ago

  days, giving, humor, life, marine, marine life, observation, opinion, silence, time, weeks, whale

• I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

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  3 weeks ago

  apocalypse, complete, game, hope, i, life, needs, save, skills, teen, teens, video, video game, waste, world

• I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

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  3 weeks ago

  book, call, done, going, humor, i, life, oughtabiography, regrets, self-reflection, should, things, writing

• Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

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  3 weeks ago

  alarm, alarm clock, better, clock, daily, daily struggle, every, feel, humor, i, inheritance, job, just, life, me, morning, morning routine, much, office, office job, procrastination, routine, struggle, work, work life

• Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

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  3 weeks ago

  before, drawer, empty, food, fridge, humor, kitchen, life, maintenance, own, procrastination, something, vegetable

• Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

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  3 weeks ago

  humor, irony, just, life, mean, mistake, parents, planned

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