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42 Funny listen quotes

Trending Funny Listen Quotes 🔥

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.
In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.
You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’
Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.
Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

More funny listen quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Commentary:
"Who said ignorance is bliss clearly knew what they were talking about! 🙉💁‍♂️😆 #SelectiveHearing #OpinionsWho?"
5 months ago
Share →: Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Commentary:
"Therapist of the Year award goes to… *drumroll*… Me! 🏆💤 Who needs therapy when you can just nap your problems away, am I right?! 😂 #NapTherapy"
5 months ago
Share →: In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Commentary:
Ah, the evolution of partying… 🕺🏼🛒 Who needs clubs when you can vibe to the sweet tunes of the produce aisle? 🎧🥦 Just imagine busting a move while picking out avocados! The grocery store is the new nightclub for the sophisticated palate. 💃🛒 #GroceryStoreGoals
5 months ago
Share →: Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic relationship dynamics at play! 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️ It's like a never-ending game of "he said, she said" with a sprinkle of selective memory thrown in for good measure. Remember, communication is key, folks! 🗝️💬 Or else you’ll end up in that infamous “You never told me!” territory. 😄 #RelationshipRealities
5 months ago
Share →: I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Commentary:
📚 Parenting Pro Tip: The key to getting your kids to listen? Channeling your inner mom voice and cranking up the volume until it's heard from the next galaxy! This book title is the ultimate truth bomb wrapped in humor – who knew Mom's decibel level held such power? 😂👩‍👧‍👦🔊 #MomVoiceActivated #Parenting101
5 months ago
Share →: My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between the brain and the body – a classic tale of conflict! 🧠🤷‍♂️ Listen to your body, it's got more experience in this whole 'being a responsible adult' thing. Your brain can dream up the wild ideas, but your body knows what's best for a chill day. 🤣 #BrainVsBody"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about talent! 😂👂💤 Forgetfulness level: Expert! Who knew ignoring could be such a valuable skill? 🙉🙅‍♂️ #MultitaskingPro"
5 months ago
Share →: You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine art of effective communication – some call it nagging, others call it a gentle reminder in stereo surround sound! 🗣️💁‍♀️ #ListenUp"
5 months ago
Share →: I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the grown-up pastime of scrutinizing a cartoon about a group of heroic pups with more plot twists than a soap opera 🐾📺 Who needs reality TV when you have the mystery of how Mayor Goodway always loses her pet chicken on Paw Patrol? 🐔🤔 #AdultingGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Commentary:
Oh, the classic dilemma of having neighbors with questionable taste in music 🎵🙉 They might not know it, but they're getting a free concert every day! 🤣 Just imagine the internal struggle as they try to resist jamming out to some unexpected tunes coming from next door! 🎶😄