Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Commentary:
"Who needs to judge based on superficial criteria when you can simply judge people for their bad behavior? It's like skipping the appetizer and going straight for the main course of judgment! 🙅‍♂️🌈 Just say no to discrimination and yes to calling out bad behavior wherever you see it! 💁‍♀️"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Commentary:
"😂 Looks like finding a match on Tinder is harder than finding Waldo! 🕵️‍♂️ Who needs a husband when you can't even get a swipe right from him? 🤷‍♀️ #ForeverAlone"
6 months ago
Share →: Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Commentary:
"Therapist of the Year award goes to… *drumroll*… Me! 🏆💤 Who needs therapy when you can just nap your problems away, am I right?! 😂 #NapTherapy"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Commentary:
"Who knew running the family business could vary so much between Mom's homemade cookies and, well, dictatorship? 🍪🇰🇵 #FamilyBusinessGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Commentary:
"Oh, those magical beings who turn our shyness into confetti and our awkwardness into a disco ball! 🎉💃 Who needs social anxiety when you've got charming individuals who make you strut like a peacock on the red carpet? 💁‍♂️ Embrace the forgetful bliss of being in the presence of extroverted unicorns! 🦄✨ #GoodbyeShyness #HelloConfidence"
6 months ago
Share →: Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Commentary:
"Seriously, chip companies, we deserve to see what we're getting ourselves into! 😂💸 Transparent bags for transparent snacking, am I right? Let's see those chips in all their glory, no more hiding behind glossy packaging! 💪🥔 #ShowUsTheChips"
6 months ago
Share →: At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Commentary:
"Ah, the gym, where the weightlifters envy your stamina and the cardio kings envy your strength…or is it the other way around? 🏋️‍♂️🏃‍♂️ In any case, it's all in a day's workout for the center of the universe! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Commentary:
Looks like with women, you either strike out swinging or get hit by a curveball! 🤷‍♂️⚾️ It's all about finding that perfect balance, right? 😉
6 months ago
Share →: Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Commentary:
"Who needs who more, coffee or us? ☕🤔 Perhaps coffee secretly craves our company just as much as we crave its energizing embrace! It's a love-hate ☕❤️ relationship, filled with early morning jitters and midday crashes."
6 months ago
Share →: The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive 'sleeping diet' – truly a groundbreaking weight loss strategy! 😴🍳 Who knew that catching some Z's after breakfast could be the secret to sticking to your diet? Goodnight, diet goals. Hello, dreamland! 🌟#SleepingBeautifying"