2080 Funny me quotes

• Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

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  3 weeks ago

  anxiety, back, bad, communication, creativity, excuse, head, humor, imagination, making, me, please, start, stuff, text, worry

• “Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

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  3 weeks ago

  attitude, bit, everything, humor, joke, little, me, sarcasm, unfortunately, wit

• Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

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  3 weeks ago

  bother, communication, debt, humor, late, late reply, love, me, money, patience, relationship, reply, take, time

• Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

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  3 weeks ago

  comfort, humor, invitation, invite, me, nowhere, party, seating, sit

• I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

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  3 weeks ago

  chill, ever, everyone, feel, feeling, humor, i, know, me, need, revenge, therapy, why, wronged

• I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

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  3 weeks ago

  cheating, chili, concert, day, emotional, emotional pain, ever, feel, found, heartbreak, hot, i, me, music, pain, pepper, red, Red Hot Chili Pepper, relationship, wife

• It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

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  3 weeks ago

  after, couch, humor, i, late, laziness, me, procrastination, relaxation, sat, tired, too, work

• I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

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  3 weeks ago

  better, cheese, colleague, cultural, cultural difference, difference, equivalent, explaining, explanation, free, free cheese, free lunch, humor, i, idiom, lunch, me, mousetrap, much, only, phrase, thing, told, Ukrainian

• I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

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  3 weeks ago

  hate, home, i, job, jobs, me, much, once, people, quitting, vlog, watch, wish, wishing, work

• You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

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  3 weeks ago

  else, humor, know, me, mysterious, mystery, self-reference, ways, work, works

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