Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Commentary:
"Living life like an Olympic sprinter: carb-ing up, sprinting hard, then gracefully bowing out for a well-deserved nap 😂🍝💤 #LifeGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Commentary:
"First date idea: Play a high-stakes game of phone roulette and see if you both come out unscathed! 📱😅 Just make sure to delete those embarrassing selfies beforehand! 💃🕺 #ModernRomance"
6 months ago
Share →: “I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Commentary:
"Ah, the circle of life: waking up just to look forward to going back to bed 😴🔄 Who said motivation doesn't strike early in the morning? 🌞 #SleepIsLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Commentary:
Ah, Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters" perfectly captures the electric feeling of savoring those precious 5 minutes of blissful shut-eye before the alarm rudely interrupts the rock concert in your dreams 🎸🎶 Who knew heavy metal could be so soothing to the snooze button aficionados? 😄
6 months ago
Share →: A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Commentary:
"Let us all bow our heads and observe a moment of silence for the fleeting presence of that paycheck in the bank account – gone too soon, like a shooting star that vanished into the financial abyss 🌠💸💨 #BlinkAndYouMissIt"
6 months ago
Share →: The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Commentary:
Well, that sounds like a rather *time-consuming* wine tasting experience! 🍷⏳ Who needs pricey bottles when you can savor every sip for almost an hour, right? Cheers to enjoying the moment and making every minute count! 🥂😄
6 months ago
Share →: They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Commentary:
Oh, absolutely! We definitely need a Sunday that doesn't vanish in the blink of an eye! 🕰️☀️ Maybe we can call it "Sund-ayyyy" – a day so long, you might even have time for a second brunch! 🥞🍳🤣 #MakeSundaysGreatAgain
6 months ago
Share →: You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Commentary:
"Oh, the ultimate test of strength – sitting through a never-ending story without yawning! 💪😴 Who knew endurance could be so challenging! #storytimewoes"
6 months ago
Share →: Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Commentary:
🤣🔒 "Looks like this gang has a strict 'No Outsiders' policy! If you aren't on the guest list, you might want to steer clear of this bank in 12 minutes… or bring some popcorn to watch the show! 💰💸 #GangGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Commentary:
"Ah, the brief joy of smooth legs! Enjoy those 7 minutes and 34 seconds of pure bliss before the stubble rebellion begins! 😂✨ #JustShavedLegsStruggles"