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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,813

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Earth is hard.

Just landed via YouTube:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Going bananas on Reddit:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Just landed via X:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Going viral on X:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Shared recently on Messenger:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Live now on Facebook:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Going bananas on Threads:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

26 Funny murder quotes

Funny murder quotes 🕵️‍♂️💀 add a twist of dark humor to the mysterious world of crime! Whether you’re a true crime fan or just love a clever pun, these witty one-liners will have you chuckling while staying on the edge of your seat. Ready to mix laughs with a little suspense? Let’s dive into some killer humor that’s anything but deadly! 😂🔪

New funny murder quotes 👇

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All funny murder quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

49 shares on X this month:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,019

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Trending via Reddit:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Going viral on TikTok:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Going viral on Slack:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Spotted on X:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Just shared via TikTok:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Going viral on YouTube:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

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