Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Commentary:
"Good news for antique doll collectors! 🎎 Keep calm and carry on with your doll collection – they're probably too busy looking fabulous to plan any murderous schemes! 🪆🔪 #DollsJustWannaHaveFun"
6 months ago
Share →: Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Commentary:
Well, talk about standing out from the crowd on Bumble! 🦹‍♂️ Who knew a dark sense of humor could attract so much attention? 👀 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone brings a chainsaw to the first date! 🔪😂 Just another day in the unpredictable world of online dating! 📱💔
6 months ago
Share →: A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Commentary:
Looks like someone took the lyrics a bit too literally and turned the disco into a crime scene! 🔍🎶 Let's hope the panic at the disco was just because they ran out of glitter and not because of any actual murders on the dance floor! 💃🚓
6 months ago
Share →: The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Commentary:
"Who knew bringing a sketch pad to court could have a killer outcome? 🎨🔪 Just doodling some crime scenes, no biggie! 😂 #ArtisticJustice"
6 months ago
Share →: Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Commentary:
"Freddie Krueger definitely knows how to keep it light and breezy, especially considering his…uh, unique line of work! 😅 Who knew a name preference could be the key to showcasing your fun-loving side amidst all the slashing and dashing? 🔪😄 #FreddieVsFred"
6 months ago
Share →: After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Commentary:
"Listening to true crime podcasts: turning armchair detectives into potential masterminds since forever 🔍🎧🕵️‍♂️ #CrimePodcastJunkie #DontMessWithUs"
6 months ago
Share →: I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Commentary:
Dreaming of committing whimsical crimes, because waking up is the ultimate alibi! 😄🔪 #DreamCrimes #SillyMurders
6 months ago
Share →: Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of human relationships. 🤣 Just when you think you've met that special someone, they make you consider extreme measures. 💔🔪 Remember, it's all part of life's rollercoaster ride… or crime thriller novel! 😜 #RelationshipDrama"
6 months ago
Share →: If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Commentary:
"Because let's face it, those ladies would have my killer behind bars quicker than my pizza delivery guy finding my house 🍕🕵️‍♀️🔍 #PodcastDetectives #CrackingCasesBetweenCoffeeBreaks"
6 months ago
Share →: Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Commentary:
"Remember, money can make people do crazy things, like murder! 💸💀 So, if you want to avoid any drama and stay safe, just stay broke and enjoy the simple things in life! 🤑🚫 #BrokeButHappy"