Time needs a speed limit.

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.